ADHD

#ADHD and Life: Shower Curtains and Safe Harbors

Positive news: Finally squirrelled away money to have a plumber come and fix a leak. Thought it would be expensive, worried about it and put it off for a long time. And the money wasn’t “extra” it was just that I was ahead enough on enough bills that I could put a few of them off and keep the money for the plumber as needed. Well he came in and in under five minutes deduced that it wasn’t a plumbing problem, it’s a tiling problem. So I had him fix another small leak that I hadn’t been able to fix myself, in the other bathroom – total bill: $128. I gasped when he told me, because it was so low. What a relief.

Now we have a tiler who is going to come and retile the bathtub/shower. He’s done work for us before and his rates are super reasonable.

This had been torturing me for a loooooong time. Until that tiler can come, I have a second shower curtain up over the wall to keep water out, so it can dry.

It’s a good metaphor for what we’re going through right now, financially. We’re drying out after being flooded with financial angst. We have at least a temporary reprieve, and a tiny bit of cushion, to keep us dry, and that should allow us to get to the next destination. Here’s hoping, anyway.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few years, it’s that these kinds of worries, financial ones, can really eat away at a person. And it’s awful to work at least as hard as people around you and still struggle, while it seems that others are doing fine. Of course, that’s part illusion – everyone isn’t doing fine, but the belief that they are is destructive if you let it be. And I totally did. There’s no better way to fail, than you imagine, daily, that you are a failure. And it’s hard not to feel that way when you are struggling, struggling hard.

All we can do is keep moving forward. Making lists. Breaking life into-bite-sized-chunks. Carry on, in the smallest of ways, to navigate yourself behind the shower curtain and into the next safe harbor.

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