Adult ADHD / Anxiety / Coping Strategies

ADHD Calendaring Woes: Inevitable failure.

I know that declaring inevitable failure in my calendaring endeavors isn’t a very positive way to spin this whole issue, but it’s an accurate way of describing how I FEEL about it.

I don’t like writing things “to-do” on certain days because I’m afraid of failing at doing any of them, and then being reminded by the damn calendar. Of course, if I don’t try, that’s a whole other brand of failure. Failure to manage my life. Sigh.

This is giving me greater insight though – as to why I try to cram so much into EVERY single day. It’s because I’m afraid of not producing at all…and I feel I cannot rely on my productivity…which means I want to do all of the things at once, as insurance. Just in case I can’t get my shit together when I need to on a particular day.

Of course the result of this is always burnout, and…dundundunnnnn…a feeling of failure, because of course no human can operate that way indefinitely without causing themselves problems. Stress. Heartache. Disappointment. Strained relationships. Workaholism. Blah.

So I’m going to do something I haven’t done in a long, long time. I have certain tasks I’m going to write into certain days on my calendar, in order to try to budget my time realistically.

This is no small feat, when your sense of time is skewed. That’s why I’m doing it very conservatively. See, I already cut out most of my extracurricular activities. In order to create time for healthier activities. Like relaxing. And calendaring things.

Here I go…writing things in the calendar…and realizing that I have to get a new planner because it’s the end of the year…gaaaah…I’ll just get one EXACTLY like this one so I don’t have to look at them all again and have “planner aisle meltdown”.

Okay. Deep breaths here.

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4 thoughts on “ADHD Calendaring Woes: Inevitable failure.

  1. I know this one. Whenever I go down this route I find there’s a sweet spot where it works – where I manage to restrain myself to just calendaring one or two things and winging the rest, but I always end up yielding to the temptation of just putting everything in there and then it spins out of the realm of being useful or achievable.
    Then I abandon it for a while, clear the slate and start all over again …

  2. A few years ago, when I found out I had ADHD and threw myself into learning effective coping skills, I really took the 3 item to do list to heart. Now I use Google calendar and I try to limit what I put on there, but sometimes it will be more than 3 items, to help me remember. BUT if I can’t get to all of them, it’s easy to move to another day. In conjunction with this, I took a tip from my very organized daughter and put a little image next to the items I finish. She uses a whiteboard and draws a cat. My tablet has a cat image so I use that too. Because I’m a copycat, ha.

    This really works for me. Sometimes I have additional tasks that I have other reminders for, but mostly it goes on the calendar. I don’t know if this method would have worked if I hadn’t developed the limited to do list habit on paper first. But it’s really helped me with those low productivity days. And there’s almost always something every day that gets a cat, LOL.

    Pushing things off a few days doesn’t bother me as much and I don’t lose sight of them like I used to. I’ve learned to trust myself that I will get things done, even if I postpone them a little.

    And I don’t have to go down the planner aisle, even though I love planners!

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