Sometimes they do. Sometimes, despite the best of our intentions, and studious effort, coping strategies backfire. Then…we have to figure out what to do next.
For example: My big bag.
I generally like to carry one big-ass bag during the week, so that everything I could possibly need during the week is always with me – and so that I don’t have to think about what I need when and where and blahblahblah. Eliminating that whole layer of having to think and plan and prioritize was a huge mental relief for me. I made sure to return anything critical to my bag. The bag was my life hub. My purse, my computer, my external harddrive, my credit card reader, my phone, large quantities of various types of writing implements (pen, Sharpies, mechanical pencils, highlighters), makeup, extra hair elastics, various project components…in the bag. All of them.
Well one day this Spring, I fell down the stairs because I lost my footing and my nearly 40 lb bag made it impossible for me to regain it. I didn’t sustain any terrible injuries, other than a nearly dislocated finger that to this day, is sore. But I was probably lucky. My mom fell once in a similar way and ended up with an actual head injury…and she didn’t even hit her head.
So I stopped putting my laptop and accessories in the bag. And I’ve been trying to use different, smaller bags, and be more selective about what I bring with me.
This is working about as well as you’re probably thinking it would.
I have a particular spot where I put my bag, in my livingroom, near the door so it’s easy to grab my bag on the way out the door. A home base, for my home base. Well that spot is now a cluttered mess. There’s about four different bags there right now, a pile of papers and stuff that’s fallen over, the contents of each bag are basically a disaster, there’s dog toys mixed in, a couple of pairs of shoes. I keep telling myself I need to stop, make one pile of everything, and sort it out. OH YEAH, THAT IS TOTALLY NOT HAPPENING.
I am so demoralized about having to come up with a new system for one of my biggest freaking ADHD issues that I’m just avoiding it…except for the maybe 3 minutes in the morning that I spend freaking out, throwing things back and forth between bags, putting things in, then grabbing them and pulling them out and tossing stuff aside with a “FUCKIT!”
I keep having to add new bags to the mix because I run out of space in the existing bags and the only way I can function like this is to grab a new bag and start pulling things from the other bags to throw into a new bag…until that new bag gets too full or cluttered and I have to grab another bag…
This is a mess. I don’t have the heart the solve it right this second. This situation has become so disorganized though, that it’s impacting my ability to stay organized at work, and it’s just making my entire cognitive landscape more cluttered.
I HAVE to find another solution. Or I need to get back to a modified version of this system. Maybe I just need to prioritize my bag contents (like maybe I don’t need 30 pens…I just like to have a lot of pens because then I can always be sure that there’s one there, without having to THINK about it).
Okay, here’s what I’m gonna do: I’m going to give myself a deadline. I’ll put that deadline on the personal planner/calendar that I suck at using…bahahahaha.
No really, I’m setting a deadline. No later than Sunday, I will dump the bags out, make a pile. And see if I can edit the contents. Give myself a 20lb bag limit…haha…dammit, that’s funny. Alright. Sunday. Sunday it is. Wait, is there a way I can pay my kids to do this? No wait, I’m broke, nevermind…okay. Sunday. Sunday it is. I’ll post the proof.