Now that I’ve gotten all my therapy out on paper this week via yesterday’s post, I can get down to the nitty gritty present.
It’s this: Unless you’re a real douchebag, or you habitually surround yourself with judgmental assholes, most people have a more positive opinion of you that you do.
Let’s unpack this:
“Unless you’re a real douchebag” (like the kind of person that puts their own statements in quotation marks like I just did): Maybe you ARE a real douchebag. Are you? No really, are you? Are you routinely doing things that are either intentionally or sloppily cruel or careless to other people? Think about it. You probably don’t, but if you do, take an inventory and make a plan to knock it off. Get out of your own way.
“…or you habitually surround yourself with judgmental assholes…”: Come on, you’re not still doing this, are you? I am really sadly familiar with this one. In fact, I just did a mini-clean out. I actually have to revisit it once in a while because I’m way too tolerant of other people’s quirks. The past few years have included a lot of burns for me though, so it’s much easier for me these days, to just say buh-bye. I might sound a little angry about this point – but I’m not. It’s possible to have boundaries and not beat yourself or anyone else up over it. Just be clean, be kind, be firm. Knock it off.
“…most people have a more positive opinion of you that you do…”: This, my friend, is science-FACT, not science-fiction. If science is the act of observing the world we live in, then I can tell you as a “scientist” that this is true, this is fact, I have seen that it is true, and I feel confident in passing this information along to you as some kind of “Law Of Interpersonal Thermo-Relations”. Quit worrying. Go about your day. Picture a volume knob, hidden behind your ears. Turn it down. Nod and smile. Go about your day, dreaming of lunch and world peace. If you’re not a douchebag and your friends aren’t jerks, then you are free to move about the cabin, knowing that the same laws of physics that created you and everyone else delight in your every movement because you are proof of their existence and that nobody else is particularly fretting about your personal worth.