I AM OBSESSED.
It happens from time to time, I guess I shouldn’t get all-capsy about it, but I am. I AM.
I had a great day running one of my outdoor events, things went pretty smoothly, and dayum – it felt good.
Then, in the middle of a random conversation with one of my vendors – I decided that I had to make dipped wax candles. NOW. I’ve never made dipped wax candles before. Not really – I think I tried it once as a visitor to some kind of museum or something. As she kept talking, I started searching for information about candlemaking and candlemaking supplies on my iPhone.
iPhone: You’re such an ADHD enabler. All that information at my fingertips! How am I supposed to exercise restraint when I know that I can get a Master’s degree in candlemaking online in just minutes.
My vendor finally asked what I was doing (besides saying uh-huh while she talked) – and then she was sucked in too, mwahahahahaha. “Oh I’ve done that before, it’s fun!” she said. Just what I needed to hear. So I kept skimming all of the pages on the internet on the topic of candlemaking.
In the course of about ten minutes I was able to discern that I would prefer to work with soy, how to make a cool holder thingy to loop the wicks through while dipping them, and what kind of colors and scents to use, if you’re into that sort of thing (AND I AM).
Then I realized that I shouldn’t do it because I’m already barely managing my current to-do list, and I don’t need more projects – and the compulsion to do it became fierce. That bitch was taking over.
It took me…gosh, probably three hours to completely submerge the impulse to get candlemaking supplies and make ALL OF THE CANDLES IN THE WORLD this evening – sometime between my event ending, getting some rest, eating some dinner, and then going to see Sonny (my musician husband) play a show with a new band he’s been rehearsing with. The candlemaking compulsion was really aggressive and kept telling me that I didn’t need to go to the show because clearly I HAD TO MAKE CANDLES.
The nice thing about having a husband with ADHD (one of the many things) is that when I explained to him what was going on in my brain, and that my thought processes had essentially been taking over by some kind of candlemaking alien, hellbent on taking over the world – he laughed. Because he knows EXACTLY what that’s like. He and I agreed that I had to turn this hole thing around somehow, and use the candlemaking as a reward, after I get through the three big things I need to finish at the moment, here in reality.
As you can see…I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT IT. I WANT TO MAKE THE CANDLES! IN EVERY COLOR! EVERY SCENT! DIPPED CANDLES <——because pouring wax into a tin is just not challenging enough! CANDLES!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to beat the little therapist in my head with a hand-dipped candle! (Stop talking to meeeee, little therapist!)