It’s been said (or something like that) that we with the ADHD sometimes have challenges with following through on goals, plans, projects and such.
Does that mean that we never finish anything? Not necessarily. Does it mean that we need to give extra attention to finishing things and following through on them.
Yeah, probably, at least for most of us.
Yesterday, I had a bit of a melt-down relating to career issues. To sum things up – I’m in the middle of building two small businesses at once. Duh, I have ADHD, why WOULDN’T I be trying to build two small businesses at once. Business-building is a process, and it takes time. People with completely “normal” brains and chemistries, who aren’t reactive, freak out in the middle of this process all the time even when building one business, nevermind more than one. But here’s the spark that light me on fire…
I am working extremely hard and am not seeing the full financial payoff yet because frankly, it’s a little early for that to happen. Meanwhile, I heard about a less-qualified and less-effective individual landing a hella sweet contract, worth a lot of money, doing work similar to the work that I do – and here I am struggling, as early stage business owners tend to. I immediately went head-over-optimism down a rabbit hole of frustration, anger and self-questioning. I decided that I wasn’t cut out for this whole business owner thing, I decided that I was a loser, a failure and that I should go find a “real” job.
I spent some quality online time looking for open jobs. Translation: Ten minutes of that crap reminded me why I don’t want to work for other people.
Plan B: I spent some ACTUAL quality time chatting with a good friend about my dilemma, and she helped me brainstorm some next steps for my businesses, ones that focused me back on the goals at hand, reminded me that I’m right where I should be, reminded me that my ideas were good ones, and that if I keep working at my goal, I should be able to start reaping some rewards. She also reminded me how BAD my last two jobs were, and why I am confident that self-employment is my best option.
Friends can be a valuable, valuable resource. They can give us a perspective outside of our own head. They can also say things like “oh no, you’re doing that one thing, you always freak out when you run into this kind of thing” and remind you that you, well, have a few things that you kinda freak out about, and somewhat irrationally. They can also validate things for you “yeah, that person IS a total asshat, buy you don’t need to compete with them anyway to get where you want to be, so fuck ’em”. They can also give you a career-freakout-mitigation pep-talk “Hey, remember how good you are at what you do! Don’t give up! You are kicking ass!”
I needed that SO BAD yesterday. I’m so grateful that I had a good friend available to help me navigate that cruddy little squall. I’m back on track and feeling positive about my work again, for the moment at least, ha.