One of the things I have been working for three years on, with my therapist, is learning how to live a different kind of life. I began my therapy process with the intent to find new ways to cope with ADHD, however, I learned through that process that I was able to be pretty conscious about that, and self adjust pretty well, once I had the context of a diagnosis to help me make better decisions.
The real work then, had to do with big transition issues I was going through (which we did work on) and learning how to choose the best kind of life for myself, in light of this new information I now had about having this thing called ADHD.
The biggest change revolved around making choices that played to my strengths and furthermore my preferences, rather than playing to conveniences of the moment. Resisting the impulse to focus on mere survival and nurturing the need to expect more. To me, that feels audacious, and that type of audacity is foreign. But I’m insisting that I embrace it anyway.
I’m writing about this now because I’m very much on the brink of fruition no this project.
I stepped off a cliff a few months ago in leaving my last “day job” and life hasn’t been the same since. It also has probably never made more sense.
I’m going to list some of the things I required from my new life:
1) I must do work that I actually like most of the time.
2) I won’t work for anyone other than myself (I do take contract/freelance work but only for people who are sane and drama-free).
3) I must spend half of my week working at home so that my pets are not lonely during the day. Yes, this is a priority for me and I don’t think it’s silly at all.
4) I own a business. My focus needs to be growing it, and any other work I need to take in the meantime while I’m doing this must allow for me to manage my business during the hours that I need to do so.
5) I cannot be trapped at a desk.
6) I cannot be trapped in a work environment that doesn’t work for me. No fluorescent lights. No co-workers with weird baggage or significant untreated mental health problems. NO DRAMA.
7) I will be available to my family when needed, whenever reasonable.
8) I will not be held hostage by arbitrary demands. I will take breaks when I need them, I will work in a pleasant environment, I will not bend over just for kicks.
9) My work tasks must be varied and interesting.
10) I must take risks…and…
11) I must be willing to wait for things that are worthwhile. Like next steps in developing my business.
I’m waiting right now, in fact. And it’s hard for me. But I have truly done my part and all that’s left to do is wait for the other pieces to fall into place. In the meantime I received a very funny sign from the universe in the form of TWO job offers, of the type of work I formerly would have jumped to take in order to fill my bank account quickly. But I’m not going to do it this time. I have to wait for the next steps to mature and ripen just a little bit before I can reap what I have sown. I deserve to reap that new life I have been working to make for myself. And it’s so close….
Have you found a need to make yourself a new kind of life? How does this related to YOUR ADHD diagnosis, if at all?