ADHD

Jenny Lewis and Fear of Failure

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins’ song, Rise Up With Fists has rallied me many a morning, comforted and inspired me in many a humble moment, lit a fire under many a project.

I used to torture myself every morning with The Smiths’ “You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet Baby”. But it didn’t feel like torture…it motivated me to keep going, to move past whatever was bothering me, with the hope that with just a little more persistence, I could rally and eventually win. Says a lot about my frame of mind, that I had to hit myself over the head like that…

Rise Up With Fists is a different experience. Several experiences, really. “…there but for the Grace of God go I”, although I’m not religious, reminds me that none of us is perfect, nobody is perfectly lucky, and that any of us could find ourselves in the throes of those unfortunate moments and circumstances that nobody can control. Even our best grasp on control is limited to that which is in our hands at a given moment, and snakish issues writhe from our hands anyway.

However, toward the end of the song, Jenny turns a corner with “…but I still believe…and I will rise up with fists…and I will take what’s mine, mine, mine…”. As a response to the entire rest of the song, it’s clear that this is not a declaration of selfish greed, but one of realization…that despite all this, we can and should still act to better our lives, make better choices, and give ourselves fully to life in a spirit of imperfect but inspired action.

Mmmmm, inspired action. Inspired action eats false prophets for dinner without leaving the bones of the soul behind. And I think my new soundtrack is a better choice…

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