Dear fellow ADHDers. It’s tough love time. Anything I’m about to write is as much a conversation I am willing to have (and have had) with myself, as it is an imparting of words to you:
If you have ADHD it is your responsibility to work for accountability in your daily life, to yourself and to others.
If you have ADHD, it is YOUR responsibility to work for understanding of YOUR ADHD and how it affects you, impacts your life, and affects the people around you.
It is NOT your responsibility to be perfect.
But it IS your responsibility to try. Not to talk about how you are going to try, but to really try.
It is your responsibility to figure out how to be on time when you really need to be.
It is your responsibility to figure out how to remember to do the things that you tell others you will do.
It is your responsibility to remember that the feelings of others are important and deserve care.
But it is also important to stand up for and express your own feelings, and defend your positive coping strategies, even if other people think they are weird, so long as they are not negatively affecting others.
It is YOUR job to figure out which study skills will best help you with your education.
It is YOUR job to do what you say you will do, or learn to set limits and learn to say no.
If you don’t know how to help yourself, it is your job to seek other sources or people who can help you to help yourself.
It is YOUR job to meet the deadlines that you have accepted responsibility for.
It is YOUR job to own your decisions, and own your choices.
It is YOUR job to work toward your goals in whatever ways you are reasonably able to, and to learn to set reasonable goals for yourself to work toward.
It is NOT the job of your mother, your father, your family, your children, your teachers, your professors, your caretakers, your friends, your colleagues, your boss, your dog, your lover, your landlord, the utility company, the bank, or your employees to make your life awesome…or to accept blame when you can’t accept it yourself.
Blaming others will not cure your ADHD.
Nothing will cure your ADHD.
So get to work.