ADHD

Theodore Walter Rollins

I just can’t win. ADHD boy is STILL complaining about his nickname. Even though I changed it to Sonny Rollins.

“What if people think you’re really talking about Sonny Rollins!?” and “What if Sonny Rollins reads it and thinks you’re really talking about Sonny Rollins!?” and “What if people think you’re talking about Henry Rollins!?”

a) the same people who think I’m really talking about Sonny Rollins…first of all if they actually listen to Sonny Rollins they’re probably too smart to make such a silly mistake. If they know who he is and they’re still confused…they would probably mistake The Onion for real news and that really isn’t my problem.

b) Sonny Rollins is a pretty old dude. I’m just banking on him not Googling himself on the internet. If all goes according to plan, he’ll just keeeeeep playing that sax that made him famous, and keep his jazz-great nose out of it. Plus, don’t old jazz dudes just collect stylish young girlfriends? I don’t think he’ll complain. He’d probably only be pissed that he’s now a white guitar player.

c) Henry Rollins. That would just be hilarious. If people mistake Sonny Rollins for Henry Rollins…I’m sorry, I can’t even stop laughing typing it…can we please get them on a double bill for Lilith Fair next year or something? I would pay money…

So…I’m sorry baby, but until something strikes my ADHD brain as even half as funny as calling you Sonny Rollins (which incidentally just makes me think about how cute you are running around in your bathrobe making breakfast listening to Sonny Rollins) then maybe I’ll consider an alternate moniker. Until then…start practicing saxophone.

And consider this: do you suppose that Theodore Walter Rollins got to pick HIS nickname? Huh? I think no. He was probably thinking something more like “Bebop” or “Crusty” but no…everyone kept calling him “Sonny”.

I think Sonny Rollins is about to rue the day he found himself a woman with ADHD.

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