ADHD

A Concerta Vacation

I decided not to take the Concerta today, since after 10 days of holiday mayhem, I have two days where I literally have no place I HAVE to be and nothing I HAVE to do.

As such, my mind is having a wild day. I thought I’d share the content of my brain today with you, in no particular order…and should also mention that even while just writing this far, my brain has wandered off to Jupiter, is contemplating running over to grab a marketing book to read about marketing plans, has taken portraits of both the girl-cat AND the puppy, has stopped to think about the song that’s on, is wondering where my room-mate is, thinking about dinner, gotten up to put something in the laundry…you get the idea. Just gets better as I try to flip back through the mental activities of my day.

Woke up this morning in ADHD-boy’s arms after a lovely late night spent next to a wood stove, listening to him playing music, snug in a northern New England hangout, with good people, while fluffy snowflakes swirled around outside the windows.

Nice.

So then I came home to clean the house and it took a looong time. Not because hosting brunch yesterday was particularly mess-inducing, but because when my brain is like this it’s a weird exercise in working to keep myself focused, but also working to not focus too much. Creating external order is compulsively engaging to me when my mind feels disordered. When my mind is feeling more linear (ahem, medicated) I also enjoy organizing and cleaning, but it’s different…the compulsion isn’t what’s driving me, I can simply finish some whole tasks and I’m simple less likely to be distractable. When my mind is doing it’s natural thing, I can easily get stuck on a cycle of make mess-clean-mess-repeat, and get little else done, or just get really cranky. Today I had to set a limit for myself or I would have kept cleaning (or rather, darting around starting and starting and starting, and sometimes finishing) until the house was clean.

One of the most pronounced issues that arises when I am not taking the ADHD medication is the frequency and potency of my creative thoughts.

Which is why I just took an hour long break while writing this blog post…to go write a story, eat some cheese and crackers, wander around looking lost, check out the action on Facebook, grab a book to not-read, bug the cats, and the like.

Today I thought that I might make some patchwork fabric…then got off on the topic of protest quilting…then thought of a great idea for a play…and another one..ironed some fabric to cut out but only cut a little of it…each idea was THE BEST…

And you know what, I’m ready for a nap.

And you know what else, I’m going to let this ridiculous post exist as is because the fact that it has no point and I haven’t the ability to go back and remedy that fact is, actually, the whole point.

Nap commencing…feckit, bedtime here on the couch, pigpiled with the three animals, and suspecting that God hates New England based on the sound of the wind outside.

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