I generally avoid caffeine because it can trigger anxiety, but today, because I haven’t taken my stimulant medication I am having the day from hell. I didn’t take it because I’m trying to see what the Remeron is doing. However, I while I am not anxious, I am having a lethargic, groggy, emotional day from hell.
I drank a Diet Coke. Oh look, I can THINK. I can TYPE. I can focus for more than two seconds and I don’t feel like I’m going to have a temper tantrum due to the exhaustion of trying to cut through mental fog! And just to drive home to clarity of the point: I never drink caffeine. I’m not a caffeine addict who can’t function without it, I’m an ADHDer who needs an extra boost to function properly. There’s a big difference.
I was so friggin’ impaired half the time when I was younger. How did anyone not notice this!? This is why I say that “high functioning” is just another way to say “better at hiding impairment”. I spent so much every day just trying to function and trying to hide it, and not even self-medicating with caffeine.
I don’t know how I did it, seriously. I really don’t know. I only wish that if I was going to drink caffeine it had been a cherry coke, because I’m too chicken to drink more but I really would have enjoyed that (not a good idea to chug caffeine all day when you are being medicated for anxiety, lol…).