ADHD

Note to self: remember where you put your pants

Seriously, I made brief reference to this a couple of days ago but after I did laundry the other day, I actually sorted my laundry a bit, which is new, and I friggin’ keep forgetting that I folded all my pants and put them in the bottom drawer of the “dark” dresser. Oh I remember it now, while I’m sitting here at my office writing in my blog. But tomorrow morning…just as this morning and the morning before, I’m telling you, I will get out of the shower, come a looking for the pants…and will search through piles of laundry before I realize that oh yes…they’re folded, of all things, and indeed have taken up residence in that drawer, the very drawer I put them in. ADHDers reading this no doubt have their own dumbass adventures of this sort to share and if so, I issue a call to all of you…to start your own blogs, and set reminders to actually write in them.

I’m serious…do you think it’s fun for me airing my ADHD laundry in front of the world (or at least my readers)? I guess it’s better than sticking it in a drawer and not dealing with it…like MY PANTS. Get it…it’s all a ridiculous metaphor for the fact that we are as sick as our accidental secrets (or the fact that we can’t even find them) As long as we refuse to expose the realities of our “condition” the public will continue to make up its own minds about who ADHDers are, and what ADHDers do. We’re a rather diverse group, in case you hadn’t figured that out yet, and a lot of people have not figured that out yet.

The other thing is…you might learn some interesting things about yourself when you go back and read what you wrote (I know I have).

I know blogging’s not for everyone…so I’m not intending to pressure anyone. And not everyone enjoys writing…I happen to, so for me, this is an ideal vehicle for processing. However…even if you don’t like to write, perhaps there are other ways you can share your experience (and by share, I do NOT mean walking into your boss’s office and yelling “Merry Fucking Christmas, I have ADHD! Not only is it a gift, but it’s MY gift to YOU!”). Sharing your experience doesn’t even have to mean telling other people about it. Sharing your experience can mean using it for a variety of interesting purposes. I think I posted a while back about going to a local mental health peer group to give a talk, from a peer’s perspective, about organizing projects. Certainly nobody at the mental health peer center was going to judge me because of ADHD, haha…maybe just because of my weird hairdo…. Maybe sharing your ADHD with the world means allowing yourself more compassion for others and THEIR unique challenges, in any setting.

So no, ADHD may not be “a gift” but you sure can translate your experiences as an ADHDer into a variety of productive outlets.

Really, if one of you could teach me how to remember where my effing pants are on a regular basis (besides leaving them in a pile next to the empty dresser where I can see them) that would be a godsend! Perhaps I should address a different audience for that, haha…actually…

I’ll tell you what I’d really like a hot tip for…where to get a really perfect dresser. I’ve been thinking about this a lot this week, for obvious reasons. For the amount of clothes I own, in need to be about 6 ft. wide, about 5 ft. to the wall, and the three drawers need to be about 12 inches deep, NO DEEPER. And the fronts of the drawers must be clear, so I can see that clothes live in that piece of furniture.

That way…all of my clothes would be easily see-able in shallow layers, and I could turn and look at the clear front and and go “oh yeah! I have clothes in there” and then open the drawer all the way (the back of the unit needs to be weighted so it doesn’t tip over when I pull the drawer all the way out). The clothes will be easy to pick through even if they are not totally organized.

Heaven.
No judgment, no pain…with a place like that to put my clothes I could actually cultivate a habit of at least sorting my clothes by type, if not folding them. That would be a huge step for me. Right now I’m still afraid that if I put things away I’ll forget them, even if they’re important, like pants. It’s these kinds of things that the non-ADHDers in our lives cannot fathom, and get frustrated with and to YOU, you poor oppressed partners of ADHDers…and I mean this with all due respect and kindness…it doesn’t really matter if you get it or not. You have a right to have YOUR needs and methods respected, and within reason, so do we. And within our agreed upon personal space (and anyone living with an ADHDer should have figured out by now that each person SHOULD have a little slice of their own space) you basically need to shut your piehole about how we do what we do.

Yeah yeah, I know…you have to shoot us in the ass to do certain things, or complete certain things…I totally get that. And those things should exist somewhere in the “where my ADHD fucks up your program” category. If it’s not fucking up your program, leave us alone.

And don’t share dressers with us 😉

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