Enter my life-in-progress, which was already WAY too busy. There was no question that I needed to fully adhere myself to the family effort. But there is always danger ahead for me when I have to deal with too many unknowns all at once.
While working for my father, I forgot that I was supposed to be at one of my workplaces, filling in for a vacationing co-worker. I STILL KNEW as of Friday that I would need to be there on Sunday morning. Then, the family shit hit the fan, and I ended up working for poppy, running my OWN daylong business/event, and making deliveries for dad, then squeezing in a friend’s wedding, then getting up the next morning with getting back to dad’s shop on the mind. That entire time, I had no computer access. My calendar is on the computer. On the internet to be exact. And because normally I am always near a computer, this is beginning to work fairly well. But things were moving so fast and couldn’t check my calendar, and I need that reminder to t prompt me to even write myself a note to remember and things moved so fast…until I picked up the ringing phone at my dad’s shop and found a mushroom cloud on the other end of the line. My boss…calling to tell me I was two hours late and where the heck was I and what the hell happened.
Oops. I felt awful. I would recount that whole incident complete with tears and apologies, but it won’t really make me feel better and it won’t really enlighten YOU.
Then, because I wasn’t as present at MY business/event yesterday, I had a couple of participants sneak out and leave early, which in this context is TOTALLY inappropriate, NOT done…very looked down on in this particular business because it is disrespectful to fellow participants, as well as the event itself. And how much does it suck to have people (who incidentally I have cut some MAJOR slack lately because of family problems that THEY were having) take advantage of you when you’re in a shitty spot and can’t really do anything about it?
Basically tried really hard to do the right thing, in every regard this weekend, and yet I feel totally shitty about the whole weekend. It was stressful, and disheartening. And I’m a little angry, and feel taken advantage of.
This isn’t an ADHD-unique scenario. This would have been stressful for anyone. But add in ADHD…and clearly, this was way too much. It’s enough that I was working a work shift that I don’t usually work…and that I was literally too busy, and unable to access my one organizational lifeline.
I hated this weekend.
I am going to see how much a Blackberry will cost me. I need my schedule on my at all times, everywhere. It’s bad enough trying to remember to use the calendar in the first place, but trying to remember to look at a calendar when there’s no computer to even prompt you to “remember to remember”…yeah. You’re pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down, I’m sure.